{"title":"Professionally Unemployable","description":"\u003cp\u003eOriginal Unimaginative apparel and accessories for artists, freelancers, independent thinkers, and everyone overqualified for compliance.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-ringer-t-shirt-funny-artist-quote-tee","title":"Professionally Unemployable Unisex Ringer T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYABLE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGainfully making weird shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor anyone whose résumé becomes less coherent the more accurately it describes what they actually do.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis lightweight unisex ringer tee uses combed ring-spun cotton with contrast collar and sleeve binding. Appropriate for studio work, freelance deadlines, markets, meetings you invented yourself, and explaining for the seventeenth time that yes, this is the job.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% combed ring-spun cotton for solid colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeather Grey: 90% cotton \/ 10% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLightweight 4.3 oz\/yd² fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContrast 1x1 rib binding at collar and sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide seams for shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold. Use non-chlorine bleach as needed. Tumble dry low. Iron or steam on low heat. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e19.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ XS","offer_id":46044591751247,"sku":"20619182936050911514","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ XS","offer_id":46044591784015,"sku":"13261282351072046185","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ S","offer_id":46044591816783,"sku":"24357164326459176353","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ S","offer_id":46044591849551,"sku":"26489697157193516723","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ M","offer_id":46044591882319,"sku":"29051570191061741387","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ M","offer_id":46044591915087,"sku":"92099688969641382870","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ L","offer_id":46044591947855,"sku":"33533624383473708858","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ L","offer_id":46044591980623,"sku":"28600375623914563541","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ XL","offer_id":46044592013391,"sku":"22334249443667775843","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ XL","offer_id":46044592046159,"sku":"23213872757225735689","price":38.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":46044592078927,"sku":"39462825011139449083","price":42.65,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":46044592111695,"sku":"17870749316074284871","price":42.65,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey\/Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":46044592144463,"sku":"14877748137217853100","price":46.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White\/Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":46044592177231,"sku":"46203469369540196831","price":46.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/9758286834046190075_2048.jpg?v=1784074441"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-womens-ringer-tee-gothic-text-graphic-top","title":"Professionally Unemployable Women's Ringer Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYABLE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGainfully making weird shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA cropped ringer tee for the artist, maker, freelancer, or otherwise suspiciously self-directed person whose employment status becomes impossible to explain on a standard form.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cotton-poly blend fits close to the body with contrast trim at the collar and sleeves. The job title remains technically unofficial. The workload is unfortunately real.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e60% cotton \/ 40% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCropped, body-hugging fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContrast trim at collar and sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdult sizing, S–5XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank garment sourced from China\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e This style is cropped and fitted.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold with similar colors, inside out. Do not bleach. Do not tumble dry. Iron or steam on low heat and do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e5XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e15.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e19.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ S","offer_id":46044595257423,"sku":"15654238730499529047","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ S","offer_id":46044595290191,"sku":"46683066558880167382","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ M","offer_id":46044595322959,"sku":"13005091105250966564","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ M","offer_id":46044595355727,"sku":"20093593803163730083","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ L","offer_id":46044595388495,"sku":"13002675409988558397","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ L","offer_id":46044595421263,"sku":"64143067644550132409","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":46044595454031,"sku":"11662604042403962699","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ XL","offer_id":46044595486799,"sku":"27875489058542282367","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":46044595519567,"sku":"14581975736946057889","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ 2XL","offer_id":46044595552335,"sku":"17710902309076738787","price":37.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":46044595585103,"sku":"33481772004011839595","price":39.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ 3XL","offer_id":46044595617871,"sku":"48162770528543200413","price":39.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":46044595650639,"sku":"33450320643499889596","price":39.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ 4XL","offer_id":46044595683407,"sku":"71046229988935911882","price":39.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Caviar \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":46044595716175,"sku":"29335229822704472261","price":39.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Caviar \/ 5XL","offer_id":46044595748943,"sku":"26318971625784560096","price":39.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/20260715000739-1f17fe13-0e68-638e-b315-3a89fd16e4f4.png?v=1784074119"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-muscle-tee-womens-graphic-cropped-sleeveless-top","title":"Professionally Unemployable Muscle Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYABLE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGainfully making weird shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor people who traded a clean career narrative for invoices, studio debris, strange deadlines, and work they actually care about.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis heavyweight garment-dyed muscle tee has a faded finish, structured shoulders, and a boxy mid-length cut. It is substantial enough for repeat studio wear and comfortable enough for all the unpaid administrative labor nobody mentioned when you became your own boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% U.S. cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 6 oz\/yd² fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBoxy mid-length fit with structured shoulders and side seams\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWide rib collar with taped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Boxy, mid-length silhouette.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBody length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eChest width laid flat, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBody length tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eChest tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Faded Black","offer_id":46055071514703,"sku":"30797989208698462819","price":42.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Faded Black","offer_id":46055071547471,"sku":"74225108262207086536","price":42.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Faded Black","offer_id":46055071580239,"sku":"20760959378521246906","price":42.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Faded Black","offer_id":46055071613007,"sku":"18315974692573650777","price":42.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Faded Black","offer_id":46055071645775,"sku":"81771658169680412058","price":48.78,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/20260715001516-1f17fe24-1d2f-6cda-8c24-ee4dafaf7ba5.jpg?v=1784074657"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-black-coffee-mug-for-artists","title":"Professionally Unemployable Black Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYABLE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGainfully making weird shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor coffee during the workday you invented yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis glossy black ceramic mug is for artists, makers, freelancers, and other people whose actual job becomes increasingly difficult to explain the more accurately they describe it. Use it beside invoices, sketches, client emails, half-finished work, and whatever administrative task nobody mentioned when you escaped conventional employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% glossy black ceramic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in 11 oz and 15 oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eC-shaped easy-grip handle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLead-, cadmium-, and BPA-compliant\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dishwasher safe on the top rack, or hand wash with warm water and dish soap.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e11 oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e15 oz\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDiameter, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3.35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDiameter with handle, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5.12\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":46055081508943,"sku":"24559798953542545250","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":46055081541711,"sku":"44448269726195093192","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/10099547188706724695_2048.jpg?v=1784076488"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-unisex-hooded-long-sleeve-tee","title":"Professionally Unemployable Unisex Hooded Long Sleeve Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessionally Unemployable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA lightweight hooded long sleeve for freelancers, artists, and other people who have successfully escaped mandatory office temperature settings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLightweight 3.8 oz\/yd² fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton in solid colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeather colors: 52% cotton \/ 48% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTriblends: 50% polyester \/ 25% cotton \/ 25% rayon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRegular fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide-seamed construction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrossover V neckline\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Charcoal Black TriBlend","offer_id":46081770750031,"sku":"33003198667600235543","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Grey TriBlend","offer_id":46081770782799,"sku":"25027217744129236503","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ 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TriBlend","offer_id":46081771044943,"sku":"29445040759151167135","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey TriBlend","offer_id":46081771077711,"sku":"27685981148764174923","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":46081771110479,"sku":"16200059801066979996","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal Black TriBlend","offer_id":46081771143247,"sku":"94215537678607316052","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey TriBlend","offer_id":46081771176015,"sku":"21145923782431869975","price":45.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":46081771208783,"sku":"15283468517312816358","price":48.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal Black TriBlend","offer_id":46081771241551,"sku":"14523847699757784346","price":48.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey TriBlend","offer_id":46081771274319,"sku":"32794940688862180198","price":48.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/17066640467654452455_2048.jpg?v=1784402509"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-laptop-sleeve","title":"Professionally Unemployable Laptop Sleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessionally Unemployable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour laptop contains the invoices, files, drafts, and proof that this is in fact a real job. This 13″ sleeve protects the evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFits 13″ laptops\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e13½″ × 10½″ × ⅝″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApprox. 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% neoprene\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eResistant to water, oil, and heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSnug fit with faux-fur interior lining\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTop-loading zipper with two sliders and padded binding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from China\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unimaginative","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46095545958479,"sku":"4081024_10984","price":30.16,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a5d98904ca07.jpg?v=1784518822"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-tote-bag","title":"Professionally Unemployable Tote Bag","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessionally Unemployable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRoomy enough for the laptop, sketchbook, invoices, supplies, and all the other equipment required for a suspiciously real job nobody in Human Resources recognizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15″ × 15″ (39 × 39 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2.6 US gal (10 L) capacity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaximum weight limit: 44 lb (20 kg)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNatural cotton bull denim handles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHandle length: 26″ (67 cm); width: 1″ (2.5 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHandle appearance may vary slightly by fulfillment location\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the rest of the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade on demand after you order to avoid unnecessary bulk production.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unimaginative","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46095910666319,"sku":"7581199_4533","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0570\/2415\/1631\/files\/all-over-print-tote-bag-black-15x15-front-6a5dabb06e7b2.jpg?v=1787416150"},{"product_id":"professionally-unemployable-womens-tank-top","title":"Professionally Unemployable Women's Festival Tank","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGood news: your performance review has been completed. There will not be another one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProfessionally Unemployable Women’s Festival Tank\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is for artists, freelancers, independent thinkers, and anyone whose personality has been repeatedly determined incompatible with fluorescent lighting, arbitrary authority, and meetings that should have been emails.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeaturing original Unimaginative artwork and the declaration \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYABLE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, this tank celebrates the particular set of qualities that make someone excellent at creating things and apparently very concerning to Human Resources.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou’re self-directed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou ask questions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou notice when things don’t make sense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou have ideas about how things could be done better.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd, worst of all, you occasionally say those ideas out loud.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate America regrets to inform you that you are not a culture fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to art festivals, studio sessions, freelance gigs, gallery openings, coffee shops during normal business hours, or anywhere someone might ask when you’re going to get a “real job.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePreferably while actively doing your real job.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLightweight 3.5 oz fabric\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e65% polyester \/ 35% combed ring-spun cotton\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScoop neckline with hemmed neck and armholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCurved hem and side seams for a relaxed, flattering fit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReferences available upon absolutely no request\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBenefits package includes creative freedom and financial uncertainty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMandatory team-building exercises successfully avoided\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHR has closed the file\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYABLE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOverqualified for compliance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; 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border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eChest Width (Laid Flat), in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e17.63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e19.63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e21.13\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.63\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSee the \u003ca href=\"\/zh\/collections\/professionally-unemployable\"\u003eProfessionally Unemployable collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":46362773422159,"sku":"11821766019468384375","price":39.52,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":46362773454927,"sku":"30813347494340322978","price":39.52,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":46362773487695,"sku":"62111346971455614067","price":39.52,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":46362773520463,"sku":"42408810594136623966","price":39.52,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ 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